Wednesday, 16 April 2008

the albert heijn conspiracy

As most of you know I've been talking about the Albert Heijn conspiracy for the last few years. The conspiracy is, jokingly, that every time I buy something more than once at AH, they take it off the shelves. I'm now beginning to suspect it is no joke. For the last few months I've had to start the day eating a portion of muesli since my diabetic diet demanded I eat something in the morning. Muesli is the one of the few things I can face in the morning when I'm not even hungry. The best muesli I can buy for my diet is also the most simple: just grains with a little dried fruits. It only has about 100 kcal per 40 g portion, which is just what I need. Euroshopper muesli fits the bill perfectly; it costs next to nothing and is as basic as you can get. It is also probably made of recycled cow dung from Khazakstan, but I don't care. I can eat it. That is, if I can buy it. Today my muesli had run out so I went to the AH downstairs to buy a fresh kilo of the stuff. Not on the shelf; not just not on the shelf, but the price label for it had disappeared as well. Not for sale anymore. The alternative is AH's own brand which has all sorts of stuff in it that I don't need, don't want and am not allowed to eat. F*ck! So I looked for my alternate morning fuel; plain muesli bars. They were gone as well. The only ones on the shelf were the chocolate variety with lots of sugar and calories. I'm suprised they still sell milk at AH. I'm getting pissed off with AH. What is the use of a supermarket that has gone not so super? First they chase away all the small shops in the neighbourhood and now they stop selling what I need. I've had it with AH. There's another supermarket that moved from a small-time shop to supermarket strenght in the last two months: Ekodis. It's only 100 meters down the road and sells all the biological / dynamical / vegetarian crap you can think of. I'm sure they will be pleased to sell me my basic muesli.

3 comments:

Nicole said...

I can totally agree with this. I refused to shop at AH after I noticed that any brand I liked and used to buy was being replaced by an AH brand with a very similar label. The horror! They are not a supermarket - THERE IS NO FUCKING CHOICE AT AH!!!! Go to the Eco organic place down the road, it's much better food anyway. I used to shop in the NatuurWinkel on my way to and from work and another excellent organic produce shop on the Weteringsschans, close to the Weteringscirquit. They had more choice than AH.

Vincent said...

Good going Kees. It's plain anti-social. AH doesn't give you a choice anymore, it's been going on for at least 5 years now. Shit just keeps disappearing.

Those biological shops rule. They have good stuff. The meat they sell comes from an animal that was smiling when they killed it, can't get any better :-)

Bas (1985) said...

Hahaha!
I have had the same problem! (And paranoid mindset about this as well). I used to buy the Euroshopper kilo for < € 1,- (which lasts me about 4 to 5 breakfasts, and contains the perfect mixture of ingredients) and now I'm forced to spend about € 3,- for about 500g, and although it is packaged very nicely, isn't as well rounded in ingredients. [Hmmm, could be a good metaphor for the state of modern (human) life in general.] And indeed, the muesli is not the first/only time this has happened to me with good products dissapearing (and especially @ the Albert Hein). I know of course what causes it (capitalism), but the only thing which keeps me in knots is whether it is a conscious process (conspiracy), or just a (blind) reactionary result to a larger system. Of course the first question that comes up with a conspiracy would be; "to what purpose/end would this conspiracy serve?" Now, I've done more than enough acid, mushrooms and pot, etc. to come up with crazy theories, but my rationality isn't so far gone yet as to put some bounds on my imagination. The only problem is reality; human reality that is! (I know a lot of people think quantum physics is weird, but) Humans are insane! Everytime you hear something stupid in society and try to come up with a logical/rational explanation for it, it turns out that the thing too easy to guess, but too senseless and insane to comprehend was what actually happened. So, I don't know. I'm usually against conspiracy theories, but humanity keeps surprising me... I think we're on the verge of inventing the "Infinite Improbability Drive", or have already invented it and combined it with a time-travel machine. Or maybe I'm just still tripping... Anyway, it's nice to see there are people as freaked out as I am, or, that is; unless I'm just imagining you as well...